Selling My Pride. Selling My Body.

It has come to this. You might be thinking that things can’t be that bad. You might be thinking that my wife and kids would never let me do this – but they have and they will. You’re thinking that there is another way; and there was another way, and I tried it, and it didn’t work.

So it has come to this.

I am selling my pride.

I am selling my body.

I am willing to sell both to you, for a price.

“What would drive me to do such a thing,” you ask?

The answer is Alejandra.

Alejandra is my Honored Teammate, one of my motivating factors while I train for the Westchester Triathlon. She is a constant reminder of determination and optimism, and of the need to fundraise for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Alejandra was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia when she was in kindergarten. She has undergone rounds of chemotherapy and numerous blood and platelet transfusions. She has to go once a week for her chemotherapy appointments, and she needs to get a spinal tap every other week. Yet, she enjoys singing and dancing, and she has a bright cheerful smile.

Without the work of researchers, many of whom receive their initial rounds of funding and grants from LLS and similar entities, the treatments that Alejandra is receiving to save her life would never have come to be.

No singing, no dancing, no smile.

I want to help. I want to raise money – and lots of it.

I’ve tried to raise money using the usual strategies (asking, reasoning and then begging), but I have not received the response I was hoping for.

This leaves one option.

I am selling my pride.

I am selling my body.

I am willing to sell both to you, for a price.

Here is how:

- Let me start out by saying that even I have my limits, so I am going to throw out some concepts, which I hope will provide you with some ideas of what I am willing to do.

- I am willing to hear any offers that you have for me.

- I will not guarantee that I will take you up on your offer, but I will do my best.

- I will offer up proof of my execution of the deal.

- You need to donate first, and then I will make good on my end of the bargain.

- We don’t need to know each other for you to make an offer/donate.

- You can donate without making me an offer.

- Prior donations and donations to any of my teammates do not count towards any agreement we come to.

- I don’t care if you pool money together from multiple sources, but the payment needs to be made by a single source.

- This is supposed to be a fun, offbeat way of raising money and awareness for an incredibly deserving not-for-profit organization, so offers should be fun and offbeat in nature; stay away from ideas that fall into the categories of “gross,” “twisted,” “angry,” “disgusting,” etc.

Some ideas (here is where my pride & body come in to play):

- Clothing: I run and bike on roads with a lot of car-traffic five to six days a week, with workouts ranging from 30 minutes to three hours in length; I have a pair of VERY pink, knee high socks at my disposal that I am willing to wear ($36 donation, per hour).

- Makeup (sort of): I am not a fan of the fact that my daughters, age four and six, wear nail polish, but, I am a realist – but, for $75, I will spend a Sunday of training in nail polish (I have a few colors for you to choose from at home – blue, silver, gold, pink, red – or you can send me a bottle of the color you would like me to wear). For evidential photos to be posted on the internet, the donation has to be higher.

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Promotion: Is there a shirt promoting your company or a cause that you would like me to wear while I run through the streets of New Rochelle? For $10 per mile, I will wear your shirt while running down the main drag in New Rochelle, North Avenue.

- Waxing: Those of you who know me know that I have hairy legs, and while this falls into the category of painful, I am willing to entertain offers that include waxing. You need to pay for the cost of the waxing (though I am willing to work with the “waxer” to see if they will reduce the price for the charitable cause) and I don’t have a dollar amount in mind, but this will hurt me A LOT… so we will need to talk about this.

- My hair (or what is left of it): Do you want to see a specific color? Do you want to see it gone? Keep in mind that color can go in no sooner than Friday, after work, and must come out on Sunday night, before work; nothing permanent, except… it would take a lot of money to get me to shave my head, but it is up for discussion.

I think that there is plenty of food for thought, so please, open up your hearts, open up your wallets, and let’s have some fun and raise lots of money for a great cause.

Want to reach me? Leave a comment on my blog, Facebook or reach me via Twitter and we’ll get in touch.

Want to donate? Click here to donate via credit card; to donate by check click here to get to my fundraising page, where you can find the information that you need (you can also donate from my home page by clicking on the teal-colored “Donate Now” button on the right hand side of the screen – you might have to scroll down to find it).

In the meantime, I am going to gather up my dignity and prepare to ship it out to you… but, it is well worth it.